006. The Love Project

Found on Pitzer's Campus

I love love. I have learned over the years that there is an ebb and flow to all loves. Once the feeling of butterflies begins to fade, there is an opportunity to either stay or go. If you choose to stay...there is something amazing that can occur...intimacy. Relationships have stages and everyone experiences those stages at different times. I find it fascinating.

I have decided to do something I am calling, "The Love Project." I plan to interview and photograph couples (specifically couples that are out of the "honeymoon" phase...and to clarify not all relationships even have a honeymoon phase) and ask them questions about their relationships.

Throughout the past 3 years I have worked with a domestic violence agency. During this time, I have heard stories of the most abusive and unhealthy relationships. I have also had the opportunity to educate others about the difference between healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships. I have always been extremely interested in the dynamics of intimate relationships. What we see in the media about intimate relationships is not reality. We see the head over heels, honeymoon, exciting part. How often do we see the reality of choosing to be in a long-term relationship? I can tell you, not very often.

Working with clients, there was usually an opportunity to discuss healthy relationships. Many of the women would look at me with confusion and ask, "what exactly is a healthy relationship?" Additionally, many others would tell me that they did not believe that healthy relationships existed at all. Overall, regardless if someone has or hasn't been in an abusive relationship, they may not understand what it takes to make a relationship work and to do so in a healthy manner. As soon as the newness wears off, on to the next relationship. Part of the problem is that our society sets up and reinforces such unrealistic and unattainable ideals about intimate relationships. I want to show real life examples.

I feel like it is time to look at the love in the world. I want to write about it. I want to photograph it. "The Love Project" is still in the planning phase. If you are interested in being part of this process (either planning and/or participating) please email me at ashleymadelines@gmail.com.