008. On Being an Aunt

I'm going to be 30 in less than 6 months. I do not currently have children, but I am an aunt. I love being an aunt. I have 3 nieces who I absolutely adore. I regularly have a funny or cute story about something Sadie or Mabie said or did to share with anyone who will listen. As Charlotte becomes older, I'm sure I will have plenty more stories to add. 

Sadie and I at the park.

Mabie and I on a walk.

Recently, my 5 year old niece, Sadie has become quite the reader. Last night, Sadie read me one of her favorite books, Pete the Cat. I cannot express how amazing it is to listen to her read. I love the way she changes her voice and the emphasis she puts on certain words.

Since she was about 6 months old, I would sit her in my lap and read to her. Overtime, she evolved from trying to rip the pages out to wanting to turn the pages herself. Sadie has become a child who absolutely loves books. When I was in college she would take my books and "read" them. Since then, each time I see her, it is extremely rare if she doesn't ask me to read to her. When we go shopping, she wants me to buy her a book, which usually turns into multiple books.  

It is such an amazing transition to witness her read to me. Books have been really important in my family. Each of us has spent a significant amount of time reading to Sadie and Mabie. A few days ago, Sadie decided to take on that very role and read Pete the Cat to my newest niece, Charlotte, who is 2 months old. Charlotte was laying on the couch with her mom and I. Sadie walked over to us, with her book in hand, and said she wanted to read to Charlotte.

Sadie held the book up, showing Charlotte the pictures. She read each page, pausing to ask Charlotte questions like, "can you guess what happens next?" Then replying, "you're right Charlotte! Good job!" Charlotte was cooing and smiling at her cousin. The interaction between the two of them was one of the sweetest things I have ever witnessed.

Watching the girls grow and change has been one of the most amazing things and I cannot imagine not having them in my life. I have found a new level of patience and appreciation for children through spending time with the girls. 

Charlotte and I. 

One day, when James and I choose to have children, I can only hope that they will be as intelligent, creative and funny as our nieces are. 

006. The Love Project

Found on Pitzer's Campus

I love love. I have learned over the years that there is an ebb and flow to all loves. Once the feeling of butterflies begins to fade, there is an opportunity to either stay or go. If you choose to stay...there is something amazing that can occur...intimacy. Relationships have stages and everyone experiences those stages at different times. I find it fascinating.

I have decided to do something I am calling, "The Love Project." I plan to interview and photograph couples (specifically couples that are out of the "honeymoon" phase...and to clarify not all relationships even have a honeymoon phase) and ask them questions about their relationships.

Throughout the past 3 years I have worked with a domestic violence agency. During this time, I have heard stories of the most abusive and unhealthy relationships. I have also had the opportunity to educate others about the difference between healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships. I have always been extremely interested in the dynamics of intimate relationships. What we see in the media about intimate relationships is not reality. We see the head over heels, honeymoon, exciting part. How often do we see the reality of choosing to be in a long-term relationship? I can tell you, not very often.

Working with clients, there was usually an opportunity to discuss healthy relationships. Many of the women would look at me with confusion and ask, "what exactly is a healthy relationship?" Additionally, many others would tell me that they did not believe that healthy relationships existed at all. Overall, regardless if someone has or hasn't been in an abusive relationship, they may not understand what it takes to make a relationship work and to do so in a healthy manner. As soon as the newness wears off, on to the next relationship. Part of the problem is that our society sets up and reinforces such unrealistic and unattainable ideals about intimate relationships. I want to show real life examples.

I feel like it is time to look at the love in the world. I want to write about it. I want to photograph it. "The Love Project" is still in the planning phase. If you are interested in being part of this process (either planning and/or participating) please email me at ashleymadelines@gmail.com.